Skinner Sphere

Jim Treacher remixes N.W.A.'s F*** Tha Police lyrics for the Oval Office.

Be sure to check out his inherently racist picture in his previous post.
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Now playing: N.W.A - Fuck tha Police
via FoxyTunes

Labels: humor, Obama, politics

Great comment by Herr Morgenholz over at Ace's site.

What is it about military spending that makes it always a good idea?
Posted by: seattle slough at July 23, 2009 06:46 PM (H5l9d)

Because it's one of the few places that the Constitution (the real one, not the imaginary one you fucking shit heads have created with "emanations from a penumbra") says the gubmint can spend money.

Labels: Constitution, politics

During the election season I saw a lot of Obamanos bumper stickers. I'm still seeing them and my one year of high school Spanish class reminds me that this is a first person plural conjugate of a verb. I've decided that the verb obamar means "to be fucked". Using a Spanish verb conjugations site, I learn the different conjugations.

Present Indicative:
yo obamo - I'm fucked
tú obamas - You're fucked
él/usted obama - He's fucked
nosotros obamamos - We're fucked
vosotros obamáis - You're (a group) fucked
ellos/ustedes obaman - They're fucked

With the way the last four months have gone, the Obamanos bumper stickers are appropriate. We're fucked!

Labels: Obama, politics

Winning an argument on the Internet is like being Barack Obama; you may have won, but you're still a retard.

Labels: humor, politics

Joe Biden recently gave a commencement speech to Wake Forest. His stupidity has been noted by many others. I wanted to give exposure to Monty, a commenter at Ace's site. He gave his commencement speech in the comments. I copy here.

Monty's Commencement Speech

To the Graduating Class of 2009:

Listen up, you pack of whiny, overpampered and underqualified assholes. I'm only going to say this once: you don't matter. The universe won't grind to a halt if I cut your throat right this second, which I'd be happy to do if I thought I could get away with it. You're worth more dead than alive to me: dead means that I'd at least have had the pleasure of killing you, while alive means I have to continue to look at your stupid sheep's faces and listen to your nonsensical bleating.

But in order to collect my fee from the gormless knobs who run this so-called institution of higher learning I must at least make an attempt at imparting some wisdom, so here goes.

The first thing you should realize is that at least half of you are destined for failure. Probably more than half. By which I mean that whatever dreams you harbor right now are doomed to go unfulfilled.

All you cheerleaders, with your perky tits and good hair and perfect skin? You are going to get fat and your boobs are going to droop and your husbands will start fantasizing about girls half your age. You'll either get divorced on the mistaken assumption that it's your husband and not yourself who's the defective cog, or you'll stay anchored in a loveless sham of a marriage. Either way, you'll end up as a bitter, twisted old hag.

All you muscular jocks, looking forward to a pro career in some sport or other? You are doomed to a life of irrelevance. Your knee or back will give out, or you will simply find out that your vaunted talents in this little arena don't mean shit ou there in the big wide world where there are literally millions of athletes who are better than you. You will get a job that you hate, marry one of those destined-to-be-fat cheerleaders, and will die of a stress-related heart-attack at fifty or so. And that's if you don't blow your own head off first. And you know what? It'll be no great loss. America didn't really need another "glory days" high school washout to add to our already-overstuffed demographic.

Nerds? Your IQ doesn't mean dogshit in this brave new world. There are hordes of Indian and Chinese nerds who can do exactly what you can do, but will do it for less money, and for longer periods, than you can. Your lack of social skills unfit you for non-technical fields, so that really leaves eternal cubicle-slave drudgery for the rest of your miserable days. You will retire from a job that you hate but were too afraid to quit into a retirement that is as sere and barren as the desert. You will die as you have lived: anonymous, useless, boring even to yourself.

Prospective lawyers? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you with a hoe-handle. With a rusty saw-blade. With a mile-long length of razor-wire. If there is any justice on this earth you will be sent to prison where you will be shanked in the shower, and die as other convicts point and laugh. You are most of the reason the modern world sucks complete ass. I'd like to punch each and every one of you in the throat.

It's just barely possible that there are two or three of you out there in whom the spirit of true creativity and risk-taking has not been trampled. To you I say: get the fuck out of this place right now. Do not waste one more second of your time amongst the rest of these doomed sheep. Every moment you lose here is a moment you could be spending making something of your life. Most of the faces you see here are the faces of doomed people, people who were dead before they ever lived. Don't be like them, or the dead souls who taught them. Be smart, be fast, and be ruthless when you have to.

That's all I have to say. I have nothing but black stuff in my heart for you worthless motherfuckers, and I count it as an unfortunate circumstance that you weren't all murdered in your sleep. From the bottom of my heart: I hate your fucking miserable guts, all of you.

Labels: humor, politics

Definite thread winner at DrewM's post about Bush killing saving 1.1 million Africans with his AIDS initiative.

Who cares? George Bush is a WAR CRIMINAL! He probably just saved those Africans so he could exploit them later or drop a nuclear bomb on them for fun - or have Dick Cheney's goon doctors do fucking experiments on them with LSD and Chlamydia and take pictures of them to put into medical books published by Haliburton!

If there was even an ounce of goodwill in anything that devil Bush did - it was probably coerced by the fact that these Africans are the ones who KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT 9-11. That the "so-called" terrorists were actually suicide CIA agents who trained in secret in Africa for the 9-11 attacks. So if that Fascist Bush did anything to help those Africans - it was certainly to convince them to "shut up" about the truth of 9-11!

Bush was a motherfuckin SLAVE OWNER in another life. No strike that - he was SLAVE MERCHANT who used to use twinkies to entice and then CAPTURE starving African's. Then he transported them to the U.S.A. in his bloody slave ship and used the women slaves as his "belly warmers" on cold nights before he sold them in a Haliburton owned slave auction is some fucking southern state where everyone had guns and pickup trucks and fucking Nascar and shopped at that Cheney-Sponsored sweatshop known as Walmart!

God Damn it people! When are we going to try and put this fucker away for life?

Labels: Ace of Spades, fun, politics

I'm on vacation this weekend and staying out of town. This morning I was having breakfast in the hotel lobby and subjected to CNN Headline News. They were talking about President Affirmative Action heading to Camp Lejeune to spit on the troops in person instead of by proxy. The newsreader uttered a phase that probably wasn't heard on HLN during the last eight years. He reminded the viewers that President Crypto-Marxist Stumblefuck is "our President". Nice of them to discover that phrase after a long hiatus.

Labels: news, Obama, politics

From Secundus

FROM: President-elect Barack Obama

TO: His loving and faithful citizenry

The President-Elect would like all people to know that he has (circle one) never met/ met socially/ met once several years ago the person(s) mentioned in the (circle one) indictment/ hateful church sermon/ sex scandal/ terrorist group/other_________. Furthermore, he deplores and regrets any action(s) or hateful speech(es) these person(s) may have or have not made, and hopes we can make a swift recovery from these incident(s) and move forward in the spirit of Hope and Change.

In addition, we must recognize that this (circle all that apply) terrorist incident/ hateful church sermon/ bribery scandal/ crooked political appointment/ other________________ happened _____ years/ months/ days (circle one) ago, and is thus old news anyway. Racists.

Yours...

Labels: Obama, politics

It was mentioned numerous times during the election campaign and Obama's blatant disregard of credit card rules that any on-line merchant required more confirmation than the Obama site. One tool used by Obama to acquire illegal foreign donations was to allow gift cards. Today I went to purchase some songs through iTunes and was presented with a new service agreement. I actually read through it instead of blindly clicking yes and this paragraph popped out.

We are unable to accept credit cards issued by banks outside of the United States or prepaid gift cards issued by credit card companies. Debit cards and check cards have daily spending limits that may prevent the processing of your order.

It still frosts me that this no-talent ass-clown cheated the system and got away with it. The worst part is that legal actions aren't being pursued.

Labels: Obama, politics

I was watching the History Channel today and discovered Rove's hand in the background. The show was Tougher in Alaska. Throughout the summer this show has been on the air. Also, the Discovery Channel spent a week this summer focused on Alaska. It was all to prepare us for McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his Vice President running mate. We were programmed all summer to see how tough Alaskans are, leading the way to accept Gov. Palin.

KRYMB

Labels: 2008 election, politics, Sarah Palin

This blog doesn't have much original content. Maybe I can at least highlight comments I find and like. Here's a brief synopsis of the the candidates for president by Holdfast over at Ace's.

Nope, the experience argument still plays - mayor and governor - actual executive jobs. John McCain ran a massive attack squadron with a multi-million $ budget. Obama ran for office. Biden ran his mouth.

Labels: 2008 election, politics

While trying to use Google to find any cached versions of my Obama blog, I discovered someone had written about one of my posts. I had talked about all of the halo pictures of Obamessiah and linked to post about a weird photo Snapped Shot discussed. The people at Snapped Shot discovered the post and mentioned it. Thanks for noticing.

Labels: fun, Obama, politics

A few weeks ago I came across someone talking about his blog at the Obama site under the name Jim Jones. I decided to play along and created a site as well. Tonight I logged in to write about Slublog's latest photoshop. Much to my dismay I learned I couldn't enter the site because my account had been disabled.

Maybe it was because of my last post. This morning I received a message from the Obama site asking me to be part of a great effort to reach all 50 states. I pointed out at my Obama site that the Messiah had recently stated there were 60 states and because he is the Messiah, He must be right. Therefore, I Hoped! the campaign would read my post and Change! their solicitation letters. There is one comment on the post, but I can't read it because my account has been disabled.

I also wish I could remember where I saw Jim Jones talking about his fun at the Obama site so I could properly give him credit.

Labels: fun, Obama, politics

This comment was in a post at Ace of Spades on McCain taking the Messiah to task over the surge. It is a good analogy about the surge and I wanted it captured. Here's how Potosi Joel described the difference between McCain and Obama on the surge.

I've been trying to come up with an analogy to get people who pretend they don't (or maybe really don't) understand the difference between Obama and McCain on [the surge], whether it is 16 months or whatever.

Picture Iraq as your house on fire.
The USArmy is the Fire Department.
Nobody wants the Fire Department to be there forever.
Everybody wants the Fire Department to leave at some future point.
When the fire was still burning and the first responders are getting into some trouble, Obama said he wants the FD to leave as soon as it can away without getting too many fireman killed.
When the fire was still burning, McCain said "Hey, how about sounding a second alarm and getting another fire brigade out here," and he wants the FD to stay 100 years if that is what it takes.

Now that the fire is out, McCain says it is a good thing the FD was there, but Obama says the fire would have gone out and your house would have been saved because the fire department didn't put out the fire, it was all that water that landed on your roof.

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Now playing: Rush Limbaugh - The Rush Limbaugh Program - July 24 2008 - Hour 3
via FoxyTunes

Labels: 2008 election, Iraq, politics, surge

A nice spoof of the Friends' intro with Barry's notorious friends. (via Ace)

Labels: Obama, politics, satire

I've seen other bloggers take bumper sticker polls to get a feel for who's leading in the presidential race. I've seen a few Hillary and Obama stickers and an occasional McCain sticker. The car I saw last week though takes the cake. On one side was a Hillary bumper sticker and on the other was an Obama sticker. Not sure what the occupant was trying to convey.

Labels: politics

Others have said this, but it's a good question. If the Mexican invaders are here to do the jobs Americans won't do, what happens when they become Americans with the amnesty bill? Will they all quit their jobs. After all, they are now Americans and most likely won't want to do those jobs.

Labels: immigration, invaders, politics

I was able to travel to the D.C. area for Thanksgiving with friends. The time was wonderful and I got to see a few places I hadn't visited in my previous trips. Before leaving we all went to one of the ubiquitous Starbucks for breakfast. On our table was a copy of the Washington Post. I've disregarded the paper for a long time. Many years ago I listened to G. Gordon Liddy's radio show. He referred to it as the Washington *BLEEP* because "the FCC has deemed the combination of those two words offensive". Yesterday I saw first hand the terribleness of the Washington Post.

Above the fold on the front page were three bad articles, two ripping on the war once again and one explaining how the success of the Republicans' prescription drug program was going to make it tough for the Democrats to implement socialized medicine. I pointed it out to my wife and she was disgusted, but it wasn't unexpected. The prescription drug article made me chuckle. How's this for an opening paragraph?

It sounded simple enough on the campaign trail: Free the government to negotiate lower drug prices and use the savings to plug a big gap in Medicare's new prescription-drug benefit. But as Democrats prepare to take control of Congress, they are struggling to keep that promise without wrecking a program that has proven cheaper and more popular than anyone imagined.

Damn those Republicans for providing something that works.

Labels: politics, war, Washington D.C., Washington Post

Ronald Reagan, a.k.a. Ronaldus Magnimus, is famous for saying, "I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The party left me." For a long time I've been getting the feeling that the Republican Party is leaving me. They're turning into FDR and JFK democrats. One reason this is happening is because the Democrats have embraced the anti-American wing of the party and spun off way to the left. This left a vacuum in the strong national defense and large government programs field. The Republicans decided to fill this vacuum.

So now we have a Republican Party that wants to defend the country and lower tax rates, but also increase the scope of existing government programs, create the No Child Left Behind program, give prescription drugs to the Give-Me Generation. The party the won the House in 1994 with the Contract With America is gone. Instead of closing the Department of Education it has expanded and Teddy Kennedy was allowed to write No Child Left Behind. Instead of limiting the size of government, we get a Bridge to Nowhere. The party could have ran on the Fair Tax proposal and listened to its constituents and secured the borders. They didn't and lost.

bbeck collected a good list of the Republicans problems

McCain-Feingold
No Child Left Behind
Expanding federal government
Giving up on school vouchers
Tossing pebbles at illegal immigration
Prescription drug program
Permitting the MSM to define torture
Hastert's protection of Congressional offices
Abandoning Tom DeLay when he came under attack
Abandoning Karl Rove when he came under attack
Abandoning Scooter Libby when he came under attack
Letting Sandy Burger off the hook
Letting Richard Armitage off the hook
Refusing to indict treasonous behavior
Refusing to indict Katrina officials
Refusing to take the GWOT seriously enough

Ace asks "Do you really think they're [Republicans] smart enough to learn a lesson?" His answer, "Apparently not." Word is coming out that Mel Martinez will be the next chairman of the RNC. It was thought this weekend that Michael Steele was going on the short list for the job. I saw him on C-Span Sunday and was impressed. Word about Martinez does not thrill me. He doesn't even plan to step down as Senator. So when the Republicans need to focus on the job of regaining control of Congress and finding a candidate to replace Bush, they are thinking of treating it as a part-time job. This doesn't inspire confidence.

I think I'm through fighting for the Republican Party. I'm not leaving it, it is leaving me. I'll be waiting here for the party that will fill the small government vacuum left by the Republicans turning into the Democrats of old. If the Libertarians are ready to step up to the plate I'll help. They need to be stronger on national defense. There is a void to be filled and right now the Republicans don't seem to want to be that party. Good riddance.

Labels: politics, Republicans, RNC

Decision '08 enters the fever swamp so others don't have to. He finds Kos replying to Carville's comment at The New Republic with all the class Markos "Screw 'em" Zuniga is know for.

Carville needs to shut the f**k up. If he wants a war, we’ll give him one.

And it won’t be a war that DC can win.

How did your Freshmaker candidate do again? You stay classy Kos.

(h/t Ace)

Labels: DNC, Kos, nutroots, politics