29 August 2006

 

The Bobs Visit the UN

A "What if?" look at the Bobs from Office Space interviewing the UN and some of its players. An added bonus, the guy is a Gimp user. Just a taste.
JOHN BOLTON
The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I just don't care.

BOB PORTER
Don't, don't care?

JOHN BOLTON
It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now, if I work my ass off and the UN writes a few extra resolutions, I don't see any effect on the world. So where's the motivation? And here's another thing, Bob. The French are on the Security Council. They have veto power!

BOB SLYDELL
I beg your pardon?

JOHN BOLTON
The French

BOB SLYDELL
The French?

JOHN BOLTON
The French, bob. So that means when I try to get something done, I have the French just vetoing it simply because the US wants it done. That's my real motivation - to avoid dealing with the French. That and the Chinese, and the Russians haven't really changed all that much, Bob. The UN treats dictators and thugs the same as democracies, they put Sudan on the human rights comittee, that's just not going to get anything useful done.

BOB SLYDELL
Bear with me for a minute.

JOHN BOLTON
Ok.

BOB SLYDELL
Believe me, this is hypothetical. But what if the UN was restructured to recognize the difference between dictatorships and democracies, between an Idi Amin and a John Howard? Would that make it any more effective?

JOHN BOLTON
I don't know. I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to be of you guys.

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13 August 2006

 

Comedy Central Pusses Out Again

I'm not a fan of Carlos Mencia and his 'oooh, I'm edgy' shtick. I've seen the commercials for his Religious Battle Royale and wondered how he would handle Mohamed. Well, he took the cowardly route. Flipping around the channels, I stopped at Comedy Central as I saw the fight in progress. A blue person with four arms, I think it is Vishnu, is attacked by an unseen assailant. Carlos is the ring-side commentator and announces that the assailant is Mohamed, who can't be shown because it is forbidden and some people might blow things up.

Just as what recently happened in "Cartoon Wars" on South Park, Comedy Central opts out of showing Mohamed. Even though he made an appearance in the Super Best Friends episode years before. For someone who purports to be an edgy comedian who takes on everyone, Carlos decides not to push the envelope. Not so tough.

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A Career in Fauxtography

Are you looking to get into fauxtography? Want a job at al-Reuters? The People's Cube as the starter kit for you. Using their Flat Fatima™ you can start photoshopping images you send to news agencies. The only other item you need is a green helmet and your reporting career is on its way.

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10 August 2006

 

I Knew You Could Do It

I asked for help clicking the ads, for just a nickel of that crazy blog money, and you guys came through. Yesterday I generated $.05 of ad revenue. I'll be rolling in it soon. Thanks to all the helpful readers.

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Ace a Cross-dresser?

WuzzaDem has the "proof", al-Reuters style.

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08 August 2006

 

Bi-pooter

I should remember to have an article written and then send Ace the link. A women claims in Esquire to have two vaginas.
What I've got is a rare condition called didelphic uterus--two vaginas, two cervices, and two uteruses. I look completely normal from the outside, but there's a septum inside where everything branches into two. My doctor says I'm one in a million.
I was reminded by the comments at Ace's of the song Don Geronimo of the Don & Mike Show wrote in tribute of Bewitched, "My Two Dicks".

"My Two Dicks"
by Don Geronimo

They're my two Dicks, oh yes they're my two Dicks
First there was York, such a dick
Then I changed to Sergeant, hey what a trick
I love two Dicks, they're great to have around
I'm always smiling -- with two Dicks why frown?
I'm the witch with the most fun -- can't you see
Just one more Dick--and I'd have three
They're my two Dicks, oh yes they're my two Dicks
And come what may, I'm proud to tell you this
I'd pass on a love-filled night with the New York Knicks
'Cause I'm the witch with two dicks!


Welcome to all of Ace's readers. I'd say there's plenty to read, but there isn't. Please click on some of the advertising. Even a nickel of that crazy blog money would be great.

Found at Wizbang Pop. The subject line is from Bugler commenting at Ace's site.

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01 August 2006

 

We Are All Special

Byron York, in the Corner, points out more craziness at Kos and the trouble it might cause political candidates. He quotes a poster echoing Markos "Screw them" Zuniga. I noticed something else in the post. The poster says everyone is chosen.
I have news for you and the rest of the world. Sorry, but you are not the chosen-ones as much as you want to believe your own bullsh**t. Everyone in this world are the chosen-ones. Every man, woman and child in this world are the chosen-ones. No matter race or religion!!! I am getting very close to saying "SCREW YOU, ISRAEL"!!!!!!! What goes around comes around. You are creating your own HELL on earth. You are creating more and more hatred towards yourself!! "An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind" GANDHI (Emphasis added)
Of course we all can't be chosen. It means to be preferred or separated from. Reminds me of those punks trying to rebel, but end up looking like most others.

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