Skinner Sphere

Potato Chips for Obama

2011-08-24T21:04:00.002-07:00

Ate at Subway and was pleased to see Maui Style Maui Onion potato chips being offered. I've good things about them from people who've been to Hawaii. Didn't know they were available on the mainland. The write-up on the back was interesting and I noticed it happened to capture three places of the SCOMF's youth. Here it is

Howzit, potato chip freaks! Have you ever wondered why Maui Onions test so unreal? It's because they're so happy! I mean, where else can an onion wake up every morning, grab his board, paddle out into the crystal blue, and clock some major tube time in the most awesome wave on the planet? Oh, like Kansas maybe? Yeah, right...as if! There's NO place as classic as MAUI. Except maybe Bali, but I don't think Indonesian onions can surf.

A Foul Bumper Sticker

2011-05-31T10:03:00.002-07:00

The Left tries to shutdown debate over Obama by claiming you are a racist for simply disagreeing with him. Sure, there are some who don't like Obama because he is black, but they are few and far between. This weekend I saw one.

I saw a disturbing bumper sticker on I-10 while passing through west Texas. The sticker was

2012
DON'T RE-NIG

No doubt what the person is getting at. Spelling it RE-NEG, one could claim Negro and being close to renege, the word being invoked. Instead, the sticker used RE-NIG, only implying nigger.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get a picture of the truck. While performing a search for the offending sticker, I saw a few postings in the Internet fever swamp (Kos, DU, etc.) decrying the same sticker.

Strange Support Suggestion

2011-04-10T06:58:00.002-07:00

My wife and I have been having trouble having children, to include two miscarriages. Last month, we learned she might have Asherman's syndrome, one more hurdle.

She was speaking with a friend and the friend suggested my wife volunteer with Planned Parenthood if she wanted be get involved with children. My wife was stunned. She asked her friend if she was serious, that Planned Parenthood is in the business of killing children. The friend didn't realize that. Are people really that ignorant? I suppose most buy the lies that last week's debate was about "women's health issues" and not the funding of slaughtering babies. Very sad.

Taking Ace of Spades Comments to the Real World

2010-10-21T22:46:00.003-07:00

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted here.

I wanted to pull this off, but thought better of it. So, I'll mention it here and still get it out of my system.

The comment section at Ace of Spades HQ allows for you to use any name but a hash tag is generated, based on your IP address, to help keep people honest. A lot of fun is had when "celebrities" show up; a running gag is Charlie Gibson showing up to claim he isn't familiar with the topic.

Last week I received a postcard from the locate law enforcement agency informing me that a sexual predator had moved into the neighborhood. He lives two blocks over and had raped a ten year old. After the shock wore off, I thought about sending him a welcome note.

Welcome to the neighborhood. I like the cut of your jib and want to subscribe to your newsletter. Too bad you aren't a critically acclaimed director. Then people would be supporting you instead of ostracizing you.

Sincerely,
Roman Polanski

After thinking it over, it probably wouldn't go over well and he wouldn't get the joke. That's why I'll post it here.

Ball Dipping Good

2009-07-25T13:13:00.002-07:00

Jim Treacher remixes N.W.A.'s F*** Tha Police lyrics for the Oval Office.

Be sure to check out his inherently racist picture in his previous post.
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Now playing: N.W.A - Fuck tha Police
via FoxyTunes

The Constitution

2009-07-23T16:21:00.002-07:00

Great comment by Herr Morgenholz over at Ace's site.

What is it about military spending that makes it always a good idea?
Posted by: seattle slough at July 23, 2009 06:46 PM (H5l9d)

Because it's one of the few places that the Constitution (the real one, not the imaginary one you fucking shit heads have created with "emanations from a penumbra") says the gubmint can spend money.

People's Pervert

2009-06-27T21:54:00.002-07:00

Princess Diana was known as the "People's Princess". Burgess Meredith died a few weeks after she did and the Don and Mike show emulated the incessant coverage of Princess Di and referred to him as the People's Penguin. Now that Michael Jackson has died, should we refer to him as the People's Pervert?

New Spanish Word

2009-06-01T21:15:00.002-07:00

During the election season I saw a lot of Obamanos bumper stickers. I'm still seeing them and my one year of high school Spanish class reminds me that this is a first person plural conjugate of a verb. I've decided that the verb obamar means "to be fucked". Using a Spanish verb conjugations site, I learn the different conjugations.

Present Indicative:
yo obamo - I'm fucked
tú obamas - You're fucked
él/usted obama - He's fucked
nosotros obamamos - We're fucked
vosotros obamáis - You're (a group) fucked
ellos/ustedes obaman - They're fucked

With the way the last four months have gone, the Obamanos bumper stickers are appropriate. We're fucked!

Interesting Spam

2009-06-01T21:08:00.002-07:00

Bogofilter does a good job of catching spam for me and I can't remember the last time spam found a way to my inbox. Yesterday I was looking through the spam folder for grins and noticed a new and interesting subject line, "US Senator dies in brothel". A nice change from the medical and pron subject lines. That one might get me to click on it, if it wasn't in my spam folder.

Update of an Internet Classic

2009-05-24T09:44:00.002-07:00

Winning an argument on the Internet is like being Barack Obama; you may have won, but you're still a retard.

Slow Joe's Commencement Speech

2009-05-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

Joe Biden recently gave a commencement speech to Wake Forest. His stupidity has been noted by many others. I wanted to give exposure to Monty, a commenter at Ace's site. He gave his commencement speech in the comments. I copy here.

Monty's Commencement Speech

To the Graduating Class of 2009:

Listen up, you pack of whiny, overpampered and underqualified assholes. I'm only going to say this once: you don't matter. The universe won't grind to a halt if I cut your throat right this second, which I'd be happy to do if I thought I could get away with it. You're worth more dead than alive to me: dead means that I'd at least have had the pleasure of killing you, while alive means I have to continue to look at your stupid sheep's faces and listen to your nonsensical bleating.

But in order to collect my fee from the gormless knobs who run this so-called institution of higher learning I must at least make an attempt at imparting some wisdom, so here goes.

The first thing you should realize is that at least half of you are destined for failure. Probably more than half. By which I mean that whatever dreams you harbor right now are doomed to go unfulfilled.

All you cheerleaders, with your perky tits and good hair and perfect skin? You are going to get fat and your boobs are going to droop and your husbands will start fantasizing about girls half your age. You'll either get divorced on the mistaken assumption that it's your husband and not yourself who's the defective cog, or you'll stay anchored in a loveless sham of a marriage. Either way, you'll end up as a bitter, twisted old hag.

All you muscular jocks, looking forward to a pro career in some sport or other? You are doomed to a life of irrelevance. Your knee or back will give out, or you will simply find out that your vaunted talents in this little arena don't mean shit ou there in the big wide world where there are literally millions of athletes who are better than you. You will get a job that you hate, marry one of those destined-to-be-fat cheerleaders, and will die of a stress-related heart-attack at fifty or so. And that's if you don't blow your own head off first. And you know what? It'll be no great loss. America didn't really need another "glory days" high school washout to add to our already-overstuffed demographic.

Nerds? Your IQ doesn't mean dogshit in this brave new world. There are hordes of Indian and Chinese nerds who can do exactly what you can do, but will do it for less money, and for longer periods, than you can. Your lack of social skills unfit you for non-technical fields, so that really leaves eternal cubicle-slave drudgery for the rest of your miserable days. You will retire from a job that you hate but were too afraid to quit into a retirement that is as sere and barren as the desert. You will die as you have lived: anonymous, useless, boring even to yourself.

Prospective lawyers? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you with a hoe-handle. With a rusty saw-blade. With a mile-long length of razor-wire. If there is any justice on this earth you will be sent to prison where you will be shanked in the shower, and die as other convicts point and laugh. You are most of the reason the modern world sucks complete ass. I'd like to punch each and every one of you in the throat.

It's just barely possible that there are two or three of you out there in whom the spirit of true creativity and risk-taking has not been trampled. To you I say: get the fuck out of this place right now. Do not waste one more second of your time amongst the rest of these doomed sheep. Every moment you lose here is a moment you could be spending making something of your life. Most of the faces you see here are the faces of doomed people, people who were dead before they ever lived. Don't be like them, or the dead souls who taught them. Be smart, be fast, and be ruthless when you have to.

That's all I have to say. I have nothing but black stuff in my heart for you worthless motherfuckers, and I count it as an unfortunate circumstance that you weren't all murdered in your sleep. From the bottom of my heart: I hate your fucking miserable guts, all of you.

Comment of the Day

2009-04-07T17:28:00.002-07:00

Definite thread winner at DrewM's post about Bush ~~killing~~ saving 1.1 million Africans with his AIDS initiative.

Who cares? George Bush is a WAR CRIMINAL! He probably just saved those Africans so he could exploit them later or drop a nuclear bomb on them for fun - or have Dick Cheney's goon doctors do fucking experiments on them with LSD and Chlamydia and take pictures of them to put into medical books published by Haliburton!

If there was even an ounce of goodwill in anything that devil Bush did - it was probably coerced by the fact that these Africans are the ones who KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT 9-11. That the "so-called" terrorists were actually suicide CIA agents who trained in secret in Africa for the 9-11 attacks. So if that Fascist Bush did anything to help those Africans - it was certainly to convince them to "shut up" about the truth of 9-11!

Bush was a motherfuckin SLAVE OWNER in another life. No strike that - he was SLAVE MERCHANT who used to use twinkies to entice and then CAPTURE starving African's. Then he transported them to the U.S.A. in his bloody slave ship and used the women slaves as his "belly warmers" on cold nights before he sold them in a Haliburton owned slave auction is some fucking southern state where everyone had guns and pickup trucks and fucking Nascar and shopped at that Cheney-Sponsored sweatshop known as Walmart!

God Damn it people! When are we going to try and put this fucker away for life?

Differenet Choice of Words

2009-02-27T09:31:00.002-07:00

I'm on vacation this weekend and staying out of town. This morning I was having breakfast in the hotel lobby and subjected to CNN Headline News. They were talking about President Affirmative Action heading to Camp Lejeune to spit on the troops in person instead of by proxy. The newsreader uttered a phase that probably wasn't heard on HLN during the last eight years. He reminded the viewers that President Crypto-Marxist Stumblefuck is "our President". Nice of them to discover that phrase after a long hiatus.

Where Are The Morons Going To Get Their Vodka

2009-02-13T06:48:00.002-07:00

Val-u-Rite Vodka is the alcohol of choice at Ace of Spades HQ. A business writer includes Rite Aid in his list of 15 companies he thinks might not survive 2009. What is a hobo-killing moron supposed to do?

Alaska National Guard Brings in Santa Claus

2008-12-13T21:05:00.002-07:00

Gov Sarah Palin helped Santa Claus bring Christmas to Alaskan communities.

Obama Standard Apology Form

2008-12-11T07:00:00.001-07:00

From Secundus

FROM: President-elect Barack Obama

TO: His loving and faithful citizenry

The President-Elect would like all people to know that he has (circle one) never met/ met socially/ met once several years ago the person(s) mentioned in the (circle one) indictment/ hateful church sermon/ sex scandal/ terrorist group/other_________. Furthermore, he deplores and regrets any action(s) or hateful speech(es) these person(s) may have or have not made, and hopes we can make a swift recovery from these incident(s) and move forward in the spirit of Hope and Change.

In addition, we must recognize that this (circle all that apply) terrorist incident/ hateful church sermon/ bribery scandal/ crooked political appointment/ other________________ happened _____ years/ months/ days (circle one) ago, and is thus old news anyway. Racists.

Yours...

iTunes More Concerned About Credit Card Fraud Than Obama

2008-12-02T08:59:00.002-07:00

It was mentioned numerous times during the election campaign and Obama's blatant disregard of credit card rules that any on-line merchant required more confirmation than the Obama site. One tool used by Obama to acquire illegal foreign donations was to allow gift cards. Today I went to purchase some songs through iTunes and was presented with a new service agreement. I actually read through it instead of blindly clicking yes and this paragraph popped out.

We are unable to accept credit cards issued by banks outside of the United States or prepaid gift cards issued by credit card companies. Debit cards and check cards have daily spending limits that may prevent the processing of your order.

It still frosts me that this no-talent ass-clown cheated the system and got away with it. The worst part is that legal actions aren't being pursued.

Dow 5000

2008-11-19T19:56:00.002-07:00

Bob the Builder!
Can the DJIA hit 5000.

Bob the Builder!
Yes we can!

Thank you Obama for bringing us the Land of Plenty.

Rove's At It Again

2008-09-01T15:41:00.003-07:00

I was watching the History Channel today and discovered Rove's hand in the background. The show was Tougher in Alaska. Throughout the summer this show has been on the air. Also, the Discovery Channel spent a week this summer focused on Alaska. It was all to prepare us for McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his Vice President running mate. We were programmed all summer to see how tough Alaskans are, leading the way to accept Gov. Palin.

KRYMB

Summing Up The Election Choices

2008-08-29T09:01:00.002-07:00

This blog doesn't have much original content. Maybe I can at least highlight comments I find and like. Here's a brief synopsis of the the candidates for president by Holdfast over at Ace's.

Nope, the experience argument still plays - mayor and governor - actual executive jobs. John McCain ran a massive attack squadron with a multi-million $ budget. Obama ran for office. Biden ran his mouth.

An Olympic Theme

2008-08-29T08:59:00.001-07:00

Last week my local Jiffy Lube took an Olympic turn.

We're faster than Michael Phelps

My Work At Obama's Site Gets Noticed

2008-08-01T05:30:00.002-07:00

While trying to use Google to find any cached versions of my Obama blog, I discovered someone had written about one of my posts. I had talked about all of the halo pictures of Obamessiah and linked to post about a weird photo Snapped Shot discussed. The people at Snapped Shot discovered the post and mentioned it. Thanks for noticing.

They're On To Me

2008-07-31T19:00:00.003-07:00

A few weeks ago I came across someone talking about his blog at the Obama site under the name Jim Jones. I decided to play along and created a site as well. Tonight I logged in to write about Slublog's latest photoshop. Much to my dismay I learned I couldn't enter the site because my account had been disabled.

Maybe it was because of my last post. This morning I received a message from the Obama site asking me to be part of a great effort to reach all 50 states. I pointed out at my Obama site that the Messiah had recently stated there were 60 states and because he is the Messiah, He must be right. Therefore, I Hoped! the campaign would read my post and Change! their solicitation letters. There is one comment on the post, but I can't read it because my account has been disabled.

I also wish I could remember where I saw Jim Jones talking about his fun at the Obama site so I could properly give him credit.

Bears Repeating

2008-07-27T06:38:00.003-07:00

This comment was in a post at Ace of Spades on McCain taking the Messiah to task over the surge. It is a good analogy about the surge and I wanted it captured. Here's how Potosi Joel described the difference between McCain and Obama on the surge.

I've been trying to come up with an analogy to get people who pretend they don't (or maybe really don't) understand the difference between Obama and McCain on [the surge], whether it is 16 months or whatever.

Picture Iraq as your house on fire.
The USArmy is the Fire Department.
Nobody wants the Fire Department to be there forever.
Everybody wants the Fire Department to leave at some future point.
When the fire was still burning and the first responders are getting into some trouble, Obama said he wants the FD to leave as soon as it can away without getting too many fireman killed.
When the fire was still burning, McCain said "Hey, how about sounding a second alarm and getting another fire brigade out here," and he wants the FD to stay 100 years if that is what it takes.

Now that the fire is out, McCain says it is a good thing the FD was there, but Obama says the fire would have gone out and your house would have been saved because the fire department didn't put out the fire, it was all that water that landed on your roof.

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Now playing: Rush Limbaugh - The Rush Limbaugh Program - July 24 2008 - Hour 3
via FoxyTunes

Israel vs Palestine in Comic Form

2008-06-10T05:41:00.004-07:00

Today's Pearls Before Swine captures the Middle East "Peace Process" in four quick panels. You cannot arbitrate between two parties when one party wants the total destruction of the other. There's no room for compromise. Offering to only destroy 95% of your country instead of all of it isn't an improvement.

Cylon Raider on Earth

2008-06-07T05:48:00.003-07:00

This ice floe bears a resemblance to the Cylon raider in the new Battlestar Galactica.

Obama's Friends

2008-06-06T18:03:00.002-07:00

A nice spoof of the Friends' intro with Barry's notorious friends. (via Ace)

Bumper Sticker Poll

2008-04-29T16:04:00.002-07:00

I've seen other bloggers take bumper sticker polls to get a feel for who's leading in the presidential race. I've seen a few Hillary and Obama stickers and an occasional McCain sticker. The car I saw last week though takes the cake. On one side was a Hillary bumper sticker and on the other was an Obama sticker. Not sure what the occupant was trying to convey.

Jiffy Lube Out of Ideas

2008-04-26T06:42:00.002-07:00

My local Jiffy Lube, which I mention occasionally, currently has writer's block. Usually, the board has a witty saying, but when I drove by this week the sign was soliciting ideas and asked for you to call the manager with yours. If you have short, witty sayings, typically referencing pop culture, leave them in the comments and I'll pass them on to the manager.

Happy Earth Day

2008-04-22T05:30:00.005-07:00

To help celebrate the hippie holiday of Earth Day, I thought I'd dig up an old Cox and Forkum cartoon.

Unfortunately, Cox and Forkum stopped posting last September. They were one of my daily stops.

The Girls of BSG

2008-04-21T20:41:00.003-07:00

A nice photo shoot of three of the ladies from Battlestar Galactica. I love Six/Tricia Helfer as a brunette versus a blonde. She looks great in the episodes as Natalie Six.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you

2008-03-22T06:03:00.002-07:00

My wife was approached by a beggar this week. She doesn't like to carry a lot of cash and at the time had only some loose change. When she told the beggar she only had some change, the beggar replied, "Yeah, times are tough with George Bush in office." Well, no more alms for you. My wife withdrew her offer and kept on walking. I told her she should have replied that unemployment is around 5% and the beggar should find a job.

Easy Target

2008-03-15T20:00:00.003-07:00

This night I was behind a truck with two Leftist bumper stickers, "No War" and "I'm already against the next war". It occurred to me that this would be a perfect target for car-jacking. Obviously, the occupant doesn't like to defend himself and wouldn't put up a fight for his truck.

Catch-22 Review

2007-12-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, I really blew the plan to read Catch-22 during November. Work became extremely busy and I didn't feel like doing much when I got home. During the last few weeks I have picked it up again and am around chapter nine. Unfortunately, the book is at work so I can't give an in depth review. However, to get something up about the book I will post what little I remember, without a reference.

I'm enjoying the book. It's strange and sometimes hard to follow, but it has an easy pace and the deeper I get, the more I want to read. Once again though, work prevails. It was somewhere in chapter six, I think, where the definition of catch-22 is given. I wish I had the book in front of me to quote. Basically, to be medically disqualified to fly one can be declared insane, but if you ask to be declared insane, you are too sane to be insane. Alas, the principal character Yossarian is caught in this struggle.

Some parts I found confusing in the beginning are slowly being explained. I now understand who the dead soldier in Yossarian's tent is and how the body isn't there, but just his effects. Its also fun to try and follow the time line as things bounce around as each character is introduced.

That's all for now. I will try and remember to bring the book home and get more chapters read. Now the goal has to be getting the book read in two months.

Jiffy Lube

2007-12-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

I didn't write down my local Jiffy Lube's sign a few weeks ago, nor posted an entry. It was related to the writer's strike and was along the lines of "Sign Writers On Strike". Yesterday I was driving by and the sign read

Reruns
"Holy cold Batman"

Evidently the sign writers are still on strike. It hasn't even been that cold around here.

Google Steps Up

2007-11-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

I've criticized Google before for not supporting America with their logo on special days, while commemorating seemingly insignificant events. Well today they did right and need to be acknowledged. Positive reinforcement can be good. Here is Google's logo for today, Veteran's Day.

Catch-22

2007-11-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

Last year, the defective yeti decided to observe National Novel Writing Month by reading a book in 30 days instead of writing one. He chose Moby Dick and shared the process with his readers. I enjoyed following along and was a little troubled when it stopped abruptly.

This year he planned to do it again and let the readers play a part in it. A poll was held to pick this year's book and Catch-22 won. I decided to play along and received my copy from Paperback Swap on Wednesday. I haven't read anything yet and am already behind. Today will be spent reading and hopefully I will have my first report up tomorrow.

Jiffy Lube Again

2007-10-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

I drove by my local Jiffy Lube again and got a few chuckles. Shortly after MTV's VMA they had this saying.

We perform better than Britney

.Now the sign has

The people's quart

My Life As A Troll

2007-09-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. At times in the past I've participated in the seamy side of blogging, being a troll. It's not a bright moment and I haven't participated in the practice in years. The reason I decided to write is because I inadvertently caused a site to have one of its best days of visits for sad reasons. The story should be out there for completeness.

My times as a troll were never good, because I can never get completely into character to pull off the ruse. Therefore, my few attempts at trolling were hit and run events. The infamous case that I'm writing about happened during the 2004 election season. It was early in the campaign, still 2003 and Howard Dean was leading the Democrat list. Saddam Hussein had just been captured. Some site, maybe the Corner, mentioned the Deaniacs' reactions. I decided to head over and have a little fun.

For some reason, I decided to pose as the wife of Don Geronimo, host of the radio show Don and Mike. Don's real name is Mike Sorce and his wife was Freda. Maybe I used the name in case other Don and Mike listeners read Dean's blog. Anyway, I left what I thought an over the top Deaniac would be thinking

Now more than ever we need Dean as President. He would pardon Saddam, the right thing to do.

Fairly innocuous. No one responded to it and I didn't think anymore of it. As I said, my trolling was hit and miss and never protracted as I couldn't fully get into character. Soon after that it wasn't worth the effort and the phase passed.

Fast forward 18 months and I'd moved to Ohio, not within a market that carries Don and Mike. I still followed their newsgroup, alt.fan.don-n-mike. There I learned the sad news that Freda had died in a car accident. I used Google to find out more and this post was near the top. Even though I read Castle Argghhh!, I missed the posts when he talked about the crazies supporting Dean and used "Freda's" comment as evidence.

As people were searching the web for information about the accident they were discovering John's case against Dean. This lead to over 800 hits for the Castle. I wrote to John to explain that I was behind the Freda comment at Dean's website. He thanked me for the explanation and said he might write a post after time passed to close out the story. I don't think he did and now that I have a crapblog I thought I'd put the story out there.

So that is how I inadvertently caused a site to have a huge day of traffic. Not a proud moment. My condolences go out to Don (Mike)

Today's Misleading Headline

2007-08-31T09:40:00.000-07:00

Imagine this was a "Snatch"

Wonder how this will help the Google searches

(h/t Winds of Change)
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Now playing: Geek Syndicate - Geek Syndicate Episode 48
via FoxyTunes

Where Oh Where Have They Gone

2007-08-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite podcasts, The Warp Zone and The Hippie Killers, have stopped producing shows. The last show from the Zone was in March and we haven't heard from the Hippie Killers since April. Please come back. Why have you stopped?

Presidents and Flags

2007-08-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I heard from someone that America has had an expansive history and that no president has served under the same flag under which he was born. It's an interesting thought and I decided the other day to see if it is true. Here are the results.

President	Year Born	Stars on Flag	Years Served	Stars on Flag
George Washington	February 1732	0	1789-1797	13 & 15
John Adams	October 1735	0	1797-1801	15
Thomas Jefferson	April 1743	0	1801-1809	15
James Madison	March 1751	0	1809-1817	15
James Monroe	April 1758	0	1817-1825	15, 20, 21, 23, 24
John Quincy Adams	July 1767	0	1825-1829	24
Andrew Jackson	March 1767	0	1829-1837	24 & 25
Martin Van Buren	December 1782	13	1837-1841	25 & 26
William Henry Harrison	February 1773	0	1841	26
John Tyler	March 1790	13	1841-1845	26
James K. Polk	November 1795	15	1845-1849	26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Zachary Taylor	November 1784	13	1849-1850	30
Millard Fillmore	January 1800	15	1850-1853	30 & 31
Franklin Pierce	November 1804	15	1853-1857	31
James Buchanan	April 1791	13	1857-1861	31, 32, 33
Abraham Lincoln	February 1809	15	1861-1865	33, 34, 35
Andrew Johnson	December 1808	15	1865-1869	35, 36, 37
Ulysses S. Grant	April 1822	23	1869-1877	37
Rutherford B. Hayes	October 1822	24	1877-1881	37 & 38
James A. Garfield	November 1831	24	1881	38
Chester A. Arthur	October 1829	24	1881-1885	38
Grover Cleveland	March 1837	25	1885-1889	38
Benjamin Harrison	August 1833	24	1889-1893	38, 43, 44
Grover Cleveland	March 1837	25	1893-1897	44 & 45
William McKinley	January 1843	26	1897-1901	45
Theodore Roosevelt	October 1858	32	1901-1909	45 & 46
William Howard Taft	September 1857	31	1909-1913	46 & 48
Woodrow Wilson	December 1856	31	1913-1921	48
Warren G. Harding	November 1865	36	1921-1923	48
Calvin Coolidge	July 1872	37	1923-1929	48
Herbert Hoover	August 1874	37	1929-1933	48
Franklin D. Roosevelt	January 1882	38	1933-1945	48
Harry S Truman	May 1884	38	1945-1953	48
Dwight D. Eisenhower	October 1890	43	1953-1961	48, 49, 50
John F. Kennedy	May 1917	48	1961-1963	50
Lyndon B. Johnson	August 1908	46	1963-1969	50
Richard Nixon	January 1913	48	1969-1974	50
Gerald Ford	July 1913	48	1974-1977	50
Jimmy Carter	October 1924	48	1977-1981	50
Ronald Reagan	February 1911	46	1981-1989	50
George H. W. Bush	June 1924	48	1989-1993	50
Bill Clinton	August 1946	48	1993-2001	50
George W. Bush	July 1946	48	2001-present	50

All presidential data is taken from Wikipedia and flag data comes from US Flag. Obamessiah was born in 1961, under the 50 star flag. All other candidates were born under the 48 star flag.

FoxyTunes Test

2007-08-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

I just upgraded my FoxyTunes add-on and it now offers signatures to webmail and blogging services. Thought I'd give it a spin.

Update: It didn't work at first, but now it is.
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Now playing: Geek Syndicate - Geek Syndicate - Episode 45 Pt 1
via FoxyTunes

I'm A Winner

2007-07-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

It took an extra week, but I learned this morning I placed third in one of Wizbang's Caption Contests. The winner is clearly deserving and my choice as well. Now that I've broken through, here's to more picks in the future.

Maybe I Will Support Them

2007-07-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

Earlier, I mentioned a local Jiffy Lube's sign. This week when I drove by it said, "Lube Free Or Die". If changing oil wasn't one of the few remaining shade-tree mechanics jobs I can still do and enjoy I might support them. Love their ads.

Banana Phone

2007-06-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

My crossword puzzle this morning had the clue, "Bananaphone" artist. I was reminded of the flash animation. If it is now stuck in my head, I must inflict it on you. I can't find a way to embed the flash file, but here is a version on YouTube.

Current Events in an Ad

2007-06-17T06:14:00.000-07:00

Seen on a local Jiffy Lube's sign yesterday,

IN AND OUT
FASTER THAN PARIS

A Successful Launch

2007-06-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

It was a "flawless liftoff" of Atlantis. Now Serenity is on its way to the space station.

Serenity On Its Way to ISS

2007-06-03T06:55:00.000-07:00

Browncoats at NASA. (h/t Curmudgeons Corner)

I was late to the Firefly phenomenon. Friends kept mentioning it, but I didn't have time to watch. Then Serenity came out and Firefly was back. I didn't make it to the theater but finally added Firefly to my Netflix queue. I kicked myself for waiting so long. A great series, as those who love it already know.

Clarify Some Lyrics

2007-06-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

Heard Everlast's What It's Like on the radio today and decided to help him with his lyrics.

The original version:

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love
He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll
I'm the man you've been dreaming of."
But 3 months later he say he won't date her or return her calls
And she swear, "God damn, if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."
And then she heads for the clinic and
she gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose

My update:

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love
He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll
I'm the man you've been dreaming of."
But 3 months later he say he won't date her or return her calls
And she swear, "God damn, if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."
And then she heads for the clinic and
she gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose whether or not to kill your child

There's a lot of talk about choice without telling people what the choices are. The choice is whether or not you are going to end the life of your child.

Goodbye Dave

2007-06-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite sites and featured in my blogroll is calling it quits. Sure, he's done it before and returned, but this time it sounds as though it is for real.

I was an infrequent commenter there and doubt I contributed anything. Garfield Ridge was one of the sites I checked most mornings as I started the day. It was always a pleasure. Fare thee well Dave.

Those Eyes

2007-06-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

The old saying is that the eyes are the window to the soul. Well gaze deep here.

Mythbusters recently had an episode dealing with ninja myths. During the introduction scene Kari, Tory, and Grant jumped out of the shadows in their ninja gear to confront Jamie and Adam. With only her eyes showing, Kari's beauty still shown through. Maybe there is something to the reason behind the burqa.

Delightful News

2007-05-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

Using the power of TiVo, I think I'm caught up with all of the Passport of Europe episodes. This week I was pleased to see a commercial for a new series starring the lovely Samantha Brown. On June 6, the Travel Channel premieres Passport to Latin America. The first night Samantha will travel to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and Buenos Aires, Argentina. New episodes with Samantha, great news. Be sure to tune in or set your TiVo.

Doing Work Americans Won't Do

2007-05-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

Others have said this, but it's a good question. If the Mexican invaders are here to do the jobs Americans won't do, what happens when they become Americans with the amnesty bill? Will they all quit their jobs. After all, they are now Americans and most likely won't want to do those jobs.

Social Security Won't Be There

2007-05-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

My birthday is coming up. I know this because I recently received my annual statement from the Ponzi Scheme Administration. It is sent out a few months before your birthday. In it, I learned how much of my income has been frittered away and what I won't be seeing when I retire.

From the statement I received:

Today there are more than 37 million Americans age 65 or older. Their Social Security retirement benefits are funded by today's workers and their employers who joint who jointly pay Social Security taxes... Unless action is taken soon to strengthen Social Security, in just 10 years we will begin paying more in benefits than we collect in taxes. Without changes, by 2040 the Social Security Trust Fund will be exhausted.

The Motley Fool recently talked about Social Security again: Social Security Is for Suckers.They quote the same data from my statement.

America's Social Security system is on exceptionally shaky footing. Don't just take my word for it. Based on data from the Social Security Administration, it will:
Begin paying out more than it takes in as revenues in 2017.
Exhaust its "trust fund" in 2041.
Require $4.7 trillion in extra revenue to pay estimated benefits for the next 75 years.

They also give suggestions for preparing for retirement without relying on Social Security.

Mr. F

2007-05-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Arrested Development via Netflix this week. What a great show. Therefore, the episode Mr. F was fresh in my mind when I read this article.

Oscar winner Charlize Theron didn't need a red carpet to show off her modelicious moves Monday night. Spies outside downtown eatery La Esquina saw the star "putting on a show . . . catwalking in front of the restaurant." One bystander asked, "What's wrong with her?" Another told Page Six, "She was doing that walk for almost five minutes."

A sexy retard indeed.

Google Image Labeler

2007-05-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Wuzzadem points out Google's Image Labeler. It's fun. The goal is to improve Google's labeling system for it's image search engine. Currently I'm fourth on today's list.

Of course Wuzzadem's take is funny as well.

A Threesome in the Future (in bed)?

2007-05-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

My wife and I went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant last night. Our fortunes meshed well when playing the "in bed" game. Her fortune was "Now is a great time to meet new friends." Mine was "A pleasant surprise is in store for you soon in the coming week." A pleasant surprise means it won't be what J.D. in "My Cold Shower" refers to as a Devil's threesome.

The "in bed" game reminds me of the great skit from "Upright Citizen's Brigade" on fortune cookies. It's not on YouTube, but I did find it here.

Quote of the Day

2007-05-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

"[Ted] Rall is basically little more than pus in human form.", John Podhoretz

A Star Wars Fan as a Headline Writer

2007-05-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo.

(h/t the Corner)

Check With The Dukes

2007-01-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

Someone better check the Dukes' positions in the frozen orange juice futures market. Did they borrow Karl Rove's weather machine?

Follow AQIS's Decline

2007-01-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

While visiting Yahoo's finance section this week, I discovered they have new modules to put stock tickers on your blog. I took advantage and created one to follow AQIS and the Tribune Company, owners of the Los Angeles Times. Check it out in the left sidebar.

The AQIS's fall is nice, but I sold some of their stock short in an on-line simulator around September, which is about the bottom of their dip. Therefore, I'm losing play money right now.

Concourse of Hypocrisy

2007-01-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

Last month, I mentioned seeing a gas-guzzling SUV with a Grand Oil Party bumper sticker. If only I had a camera on me to share it. Well, Zombie found similar hypocrites in Berkeley and did have a camera handy. Check out Zombie's work.

Make Your Own (de)Motivational Poster

2007-01-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

My biggest referral hit comes from people looking for the RPG parody motivational posters I found last year. I thought I'd let you know about a site that allows you to make your own posters. It's from the company that created the demotivational posters. Here's my first weak attempt.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

A happy new year to all you out there. Many blessings upon you.

Where's The Warp Zone?

2006-12-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing has been heard from my favorite podcast since October 22nd. With Cris Murphy moving to town it was hoped that episodes would be more frequent. Alas that is not the case. Please make some more episodes. Hope all is well.

Loved Seeing This

2006-12-10T19:04:00.000-07:00

I was driving around town today and was behind an SUV at one point. It was one of those cars I've dubbed a "resume car", i.e., it has a lot of bumper stickers that list the driver's life story or philosophies. This one was driven by your standard issue moonbat. It had a few BDS stickers, but the one that took the cake was a "GOP - Grand Oil Party" sticker. Here is a moonbat driving a gas-guzzling SUV and has the audacity to call the GOP the party of oil. I could see that sticker on a Prius, but putting it on an SUV smacks of hypocrisy.

Navy Responding to San Francisco

2006-12-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I wrote about Stanley Kurtz's idea about the Navy not sending the Blue Angels to San Francisco next year. Maybe that will still happen, but one step has been taken against the anti-military town. The Navy was planning to commission its newest warship, the Makin Island, in San Francisco. That ceremony now has been moved to San Diego.

Seeing The Enemy First Hand

2006-11-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was able to travel to the D.C. area for Thanksgiving with friends. The time was wonderful and I got to see a few places I hadn't visited in my previous trips. Before leaving we all went to one of the ubiquitous Starbucks for breakfast. On our table was a copy of the Washington Post. I've disregarded the paper for a long time. Many years ago I listened to G. Gordon Liddy's radio show. He referred to it as the Washington *BLEEP* because "the FCC has deemed the combination of those two words offensive". Yesterday I saw first hand the terribleness of the Washington Post.

Above the fold on the front page were three bad articles, two ripping on the war once again and one explaining how the success of the Republicans' prescription drug program was going to make it tough for the Democrats to implement socialized medicine. I pointed it out to my wife and she was disgusted, but it wasn't unexpected. The prescription drug article made me chuckle. How's this for an opening paragraph?

It sounded simple enough on the campaign trail: Free the government to negotiate lower drug prices and use the savings to plug a big gap in Medicare's new prescription-drug benefit. But as Democrats prepare to take control of Congress, they are struggling to keep that promise without wrecking a program that has proven cheaper and more popular than anyone imagined.

Damn those Republicans for providing something that works.

A Great Idea

2006-11-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

Bill O'Reilly suggested last year that San Francisco was beyond saving as they snubbed the military one more time.

"You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds,' " O'Reilly said Tuesday on his radio show as San Franciscans were approving the two measures. Perhaps, he didn't realize that he'd be speaking mostly to foreign tourists and suburbanites if he were standing in Union Square.

"Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead," O'Reilly went on. "And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."

At that time the list of reasons was long, but now they banned the Junior Reserve Officers Training Program from the city’s schools. Stanley Kurtz offers an interesting idea in the Corner, stop the Blue Angels from going to San Francisco. I didn't realize it was an almost permanent stop for them. "With but one or two exceptions, the Angels have performed in San Francisco for over 20 years." Stanley's reasoning makes sense.

The freedom the city of San Francisco takes for granted depends upon the protection, sacrifice, honor, courage, and commitment of the men and women of America’s armed forces. Up to now, San Francisco has been getting a free ride: insulting and expelling our military while taking advantage of its protection–and even taking advantage of military spectacle when that spectacle adds to the city’s prosperity. Now it’s time for this bad bargain to stop. There is something that can be done–small in itself perhaps, yet large in significance–to begin the process of exposing San Francisco’s free ride.

A great idea and one that should be done.

While we're at it, we need to stop San Francisco from becoming the home of Starfleet and the Starfleet Academy. I've wondered how such a Leftest, anti-military town would become home to the headquarters of a military organization. Although, Roddenberry's future is very rosy and Utopian. I don't know why he picked San Francisco, but maybe it has something to do with San Francisco being the site of the signing of the United Nations' charter.

At Least She's Pretty To Look At

2006-11-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

Scarlett Johansson criticizes President Bush. She says, "We are supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions." Wonder if she realizes The Island had a pro-life message?

(h/t the Corner)

Fox Reporter Takes Out OSU Fan

2006-11-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

Look what I missed out on while watching the game. Stayed with the half-time show and missed Steve Brown bodycheck a drunken OSU fan. Beautiful!

If I Did It...

2006-11-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

The Conservative Cat thinks up more possible titles in "If I..." series started by O.J.

Congratulations Buckeyes

2006-11-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

I might live in Ohio, but I really didn't care that much about the outcome of the game. I do hate the state of Michigan more than Ohio, so I was more rooting against Michigan than rooting for Ohio.

Everywhere I went yesterday, almost everyone was decked out in red. Ohio State apparel everywhere. I watched the game with friends and it was a great game. Truly living up to the hype. One for the ages. The only problem with the Ohio State victory is now I'm going to have to listen to Hugh Hewitt brag about it all week. He was insufferable last week during the lead up. The win is going to make it worse this week.

I loved learning about the rivalry during the week. Some highlights:

It is true that the late Ohio State coach Woody Hayes, who did more to pump up the negative feelings in the rivalry than any man, refused to fill up his car in the state of Michigan.

"I'll tell you why we don't," Hayes said, according to the seminal book, "Woody Hayes and the 100-Yard War." "It's because I don't buy one goddam drop of gas in the state of Michigan. We'll coast and push this goddam car to the Ohio line before I give this state a nickel of my money!"
It is true that Michigan, leading 55-0 late in the 1946 game, lined up and kicked a field goal.
It is true that Hayes sometimes bunked his team in Toledo on the night before a game in Ann Arbor so the Buckeyes could sleep on Ohio ground.

The Party's Leaving Me

2006-11-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Ronald Reagan, a.k.a. Ronaldus Magnimus, is famous for saying, "I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The party left me." For a long time I've been getting the feeling that the Republican Party is leaving me. They're turning into FDR and JFK democrats. One reason this is happening is because the Democrats have embraced the anti-American wing of the party and spun off way to the left. This left a vacuum in the strong national defense and large government programs field. The Republicans decided to fill this vacuum.

So now we have a Republican Party that wants to defend the country and lower tax rates, but also increase the scope of existing government programs, create the No Child Left Behind program, give prescription drugs to the Give-Me Generation. The party the won the House in 1994 with the Contract With America is gone. Instead of closing the Department of Education it has expanded and Teddy Kennedy was allowed to write No Child Left Behind. Instead of limiting the size of government, we get a Bridge to Nowhere. The party could have ran on the Fair Tax proposal and listened to its constituents and secured the borders. They didn't and lost.

bbeck collected a good list of the Republicans problems

McCain-Feingold
No Child Left Behind
Expanding federal government
Giving up on school vouchers
Tossing pebbles at illegal immigration
Prescription drug program
Permitting the MSM to define torture
Hastert's protection of Congressional offices
Abandoning Tom DeLay when he came under attack
Abandoning Karl Rove when he came under attack
Abandoning Scooter Libby when he came under attack
Letting Sandy Burger off the hook
Letting Richard Armitage off the hook
Refusing to indict treasonous behavior
Refusing to indict Katrina officials
Refusing to take the GWOT seriously enough

Ace asks "Do you really think they're [Republicans] smart enough to learn a lesson?" His answer, "Apparently not." Word is coming out that Mel Martinez will be the next chairman of the RNC. It was thought this weekend that Michael Steele was going on the short list for the job. I saw him on C-Span Sunday and was impressed. Word about Martinez does not thrill me. He doesn't even plan to step down as Senator. So when the Republicans need to focus on the job of regaining control of Congress and finding a candidate to replace Bush, they are thinking of treating it as a part-time job. This doesn't inspire confidence.

I think I'm through fighting for the Republican Party. I'm not leaving it, it is leaving me. I'll be waiting here for the party that will fill the small government vacuum left by the Republicans turning into the Democrats of old. If the Libertarians are ready to step up to the plate I'll help. They need to be stronger on national defense. There is a void to be filled and right now the Republicans don't seem to want to be that party. Good riddance.

Kos Responds to Carville

2006-11-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

Decision '08 enters the fever swamp so others don't have to. He finds Kos replying to Carville's comment at The New Republic with all the class Markos "Screw 'em" Zuniga is know for.

Carville needs to shut the f**k up. If he wants a war, we’ll give him one.

And it won’t be a war that DC can win.

How did your Freshmaker candidate do again? You stay classy Kos.

(h/t Ace)

Byron Followup

2006-11-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

I was so distressed about Tuesday's national results I forgot to look at the Los Gatos city council race. Dennis Byron's uphill battle against the incumbents was too much. He did get 3,200 votes but that was about 2,000 too short to get into the top three. Better luck next time.

And for the fans of his daughter, another gratuitous picture of her.

Dean Out?

2006-11-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

It seems odd. After all, the Dems won on Tuesday. However, the DNC must be afraid of our brown person. Mark notices James Carville saying, 'We'll see your brown person and match you with a slightly off-white one.', by putting Harold Ford Jr.'s name out to replace Dean.

The Aftermath

2006-11-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Frank J sums it up well, "I love the taste of penis in the morning. Tastes like... victory."

Dave finds great suggestions from Jonah.

Now the Democrats get to fulfill their prophecy about Vietnam. Just like in 1974 they can withdraw funding and Baghdad gets to fall one year later. Then Iraq will be like, Vietnam, a victory on the battlefield and a loss at home. Ten years later, the troops with get their own scar on the Mall.

Friday Goodness

2006-11-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

A wonderful picture of Samantha Brown I found to brighten your Friday and start the weekend right.

Although, she is marrying. Congratulations and best of luck. Her forum on the Travel Channel's site has a link to an announcement in the al Qaeda Intelligence Service, aka NYT. You can get to the link from there, but I'm not linking to them.

Technorati tags: babes, Samantha Brown

Vote Dennis Byron

2006-11-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

Actually, you don't have to. He is running for town council in Los Gatos. More importantly, he is Mythbuster Kari Byron's father. This is just an excuse to post pictures of her.

Discovered on Fark.

Technorati tags: babes, politics, Kari Byron

Asinine-90! Asinine-90! Asinine-90!

2006-11-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

Seems this phrase needs to find its way into Google. Dave is doing his part and I'll tag along. Hopefully I can get it into Technorati as well. My tags have been flaky lately though. Asinine 90 is an interesting element. I wonder what asinine 90's half-life is. Asinine 90, asinine 90, asinine 90.

Technorati tags: asinine 90, John Kerry, troop slander

Right On Target

2006-10-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

Once again Scott Ott hits the target with his satirical look at the Michael J. Fox ad debate. He introduces us to Michael J. Embryo.

The response ad, entitled ‘Michael J. Embryo’, which quickly became one of the least-played videos on YouTube.com, features a still photo of an infant in the womb with a voiceover apparently recorded by the child himself.

Technorati tags: Michael J. Fox, Michael J. Embryo, stem cell research, embryonic stem cell research, satire

My New TV Crush

2006-10-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

For quite a while I was enamored with Food Network's Rachael Ray. This caused a little heartache around the house as the misses complained that I was always watching her show and just for her. I tried to tell her it was for the food tips, but that didn't work. A few months ago I discovered Samantha Brown of the Travel Channel's Passport to Europe series. Her laugh, sense of humor, and attitude are infectious.

I've learned my lesson and don't gush about her. I don't think my wife has discovered my pining for Samantha. Now that I have TiVo I have a season pass for all things Samantha and watch them at my leisure.

Technorati tags: Samantha Brown, babes, passport to europe

Robocop's a Professor

2006-10-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

I caught Engineering an Empire on the history channel, which is hosted by Peter Weller. No surprise there, these shows often get a famous actor to narrate or provide a marketable face for advertising. What did surprise me was the label when he appeared on screen, "Peter Weller -- Syracuse University". Not actor, Robocop, or Buckaroo Banzai, but Syracuse as though he's a professor.

Sure enough, he is. I checked out his bio at IMDb and this is part of the entry.

He teaches a literature and fine arts class at Syracuse University. He can be seen on The History Channel's new documentary on Roman engineering.

He holds a master's degree in Roman and Renaissance art and is working toward a Ph.D. One of Syracuse University's most popular professors.

The series is fascinating. I've seen the one of Greece and part of Egypt. TiVo is my friend. It also taught me something interesting about Peter Weller.

Technorati tags: Peter Weller, Engineering an Empire, History Channel, engineering, history

Beware Slade Gorton

2006-10-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

Ace notices that the public is thinking the economy is good. This isn't good for Democrats so Ace wonders who will be the next faggit they will try and out. His bet is on former Washington Senator Slade Gorton.

There is now a website, similar to the one that caught Mark Foley, for tips about Senator Gorton. If you have any information on Senator Gorton's past, visit StopSexualPredatorSladeGorton. There is already one damning IM session posted.

Technorati tags: Mark Foley, Slade Gorton, page scandal, outing politicans

Congratulations!

2006-10-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

A big congratulations to one of my favorite podcasts, The Warp Zone, on being nominated for a Parsec Award in the News Podcast category. Unfortunately, they didn't win, but being nominated is a great accomplishment. Check them out.

Technorati tags: podcast, The Warp Zone, Warp Zone, Parsec Award

There It Is

2006-09-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Supposedly, the right to slaughter children in utero is in a penumbra of an emanation. Today's astronomy picture of the day captures the Earth's penumbra.

On a related note, tomorrow I will have the pleasure of seeing Ann Coulter. She will be speaking at Viva la Vita. I have my ticket and am ready to go.

Technorati tags: abortion

A Groaner

2006-09-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought the religious preference of a sex doll makes a difference?

A guy goes into an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"
Customer says, "Female"
Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
Customer says, "White"
Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"

Technorati tags: joke, humor, RoP, Religion of Peace

The Bobs Visit the UN

2006-08-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

A "What if?" look at the Bobs from Office Space interviewing the UN and some of its players. An added bonus, the guy is a Gimp user. Just a taste.

JOHN BOLTON
The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I just don't care.

BOB PORTER
Don't, don't care?

JOHN BOLTON
It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now, if I work my ass off and the UN writes a few extra resolutions, I don't see any effect on the world. So where's the motivation? And here's another thing, Bob. The French are on the Security Council. They have veto power!

BOB SLYDELL
I beg your pardon?

JOHN BOLTON
The French

BOB SLYDELL
The French?

JOHN BOLTON
The French, bob. So that means when I try to get something done, I have the French just vetoing it simply because the US wants it done. That's my real motivation - to avoid dealing with the French. That and the Chinese, and the Russians haven't really changed all that much, Bob. The UN treats dictators and thugs the same as democracies, they put Sudan on the human rights comittee, that's just not going to get anything useful done.

BOB SLYDELL
Bear with me for a minute.

JOHN BOLTON
Ok.

BOB SLYDELL
Believe me, this is hypothetical. But what if the UN was restructured to recognize the difference between dictatorships and democracies, between an Idi Amin and a John Howard? Would that make it any more effective?

JOHN BOLTON
I don't know. I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to be of you guys.

Comedy Central Pusses Out Again

2006-08-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of Carlos Mencia and his 'oooh, I'm edgy' shtick. I've seen the commercials for his Religious Battle Royale and wondered how he would handle Mohamed. Well, he took the cowardly route. Flipping around the channels, I stopped at Comedy Central as I saw the fight in progress. A blue person with four arms, I think it is Vishnu, is attacked by an unseen assailant. Carlos is the ring-side commentator and announces that the assailant is Mohamed, who can't be shown because it is forbidden and some people might blow things up.

Just as what recently happened in "Cartoon Wars" on South Park, Comedy Central opts out of showing Mohamed. Even though he made an appearance in the Super Best Friends episode years before. For someone who purports to be an edgy comedian who takes on everyone, Carlos decides not to push the envelope. Not so tough.

Technorati tags: Mind of Mencia, Religion of Peace, Mohamed, puss out, offend

A Career in Fauxtography

2006-08-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

Are you looking to get into fauxtography? Want a job at al-Reuters? The People's Cube as the starter kit for you. Using their Flat Fatima™ you can start photoshopping images you send to news agencies. The only other item you need is a green helmet and your reporting career is on its way.

Technorati tags: fauxtography, al-Reuters

I Knew You Could Do It

2006-08-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

I asked for help clicking the ads, for just a nickel of that crazy blog money, and you guys came through. Yesterday I generated $.05 of ad revenue. I'll be rolling in it soon. Thanks to all the helpful readers.

Technorati tags: ads, crazy blog money

Ace a Cross-dresser?

2006-08-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

WuzzaDem has the "proof", al-Reuters style.

Technorati tags: Ace of Spades, fake but accurate

Bi-pooter

2006-08-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

I should remember to have an article written and then send Ace the link. A women claims in Esquire to have two vaginas.

What I've got is a rare condition called didelphic uterus--two vaginas, two cervices, and two uteruses. I look completely normal from the outside, but there's a septum inside where everything branches into two. My doctor says I'm one in a million.

I was reminded by the comments at Ace's of the song Don Geronimo of the Don & Mike Show wrote in tribute of Bewitched, "My Two Dicks".

"My Two Dicks"
by Don Geronimo

They're my two Dicks, oh yes they're my two Dicks
First there was York, such a dick
Then I changed to Sergeant, hey what a trick
I love two Dicks, they're great to have around
I'm always smiling -- with two Dicks why frown?
I'm the witch with the most fun -- can't you see
Just one more Dick--and I'd have three
They're my two Dicks, oh yes they're my two Dicks
And come what may, I'm proud to tell you this
I'd pass on a love-filled night with the New York Knicks
'Cause I'm the witch with two dicks!

Welcome to all of Ace's readers. I'd say there's plenty to read, but there isn't. Please click on some of the advertising. Even a nickel of that crazy blog money would be great.

Found at Wizbang Pop. The subject line is from Bugler commenting at Ace's site.

Technorati tags: medical oddity, pooter, vagina

We Are All Special

2006-08-01T04:30:00.000-07:00

Byron York, in the Corner, points out more craziness at Kos and the trouble it might cause political candidates. He quotes a poster echoing Markos "Screw them" Zuniga. I noticed something else in the post. The poster says everyone is chosen.

I have news for you and the rest of the world. Sorry, but you are not the chosen-ones as much as you want to believe your own bullsh**t. Everyone in this world are the chosen-ones. Every man, woman and child in this world are the chosen-ones. No matter race or religion!!! I am getting very close to saying "SCREW YOU, ISRAEL"!!!!!!! What goes around comes around. You are creating your own HELL on earth. You are creating more and more hatred towards yourself!! "An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind" GANDHI (Emphasis added)

Of course we all can't be chosen. It means to be preferred or separated from. Reminds me of those punks trying to rebel, but end up looking like most others.

Technorati tags: Kos, special, contradiction

Snakes on a Mother F'n Flying Machine

2006-07-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

Say old chap, have you perhaps seen that new film Snakes On A Flying Machine. It's quite riveting. Check out the gams on that passenger. It would be great if someone would develop talking pictures so we could hear the actors.

Technorati tags: snakes on a plane, SOAP, parody

RPG Motivational Posters

2006-07-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

I never got into D&D and role playing games. In college some friends would sit around the cafeteria table on Monday's at breakfast telling stories of their adventures the night before. I did roll a Shadowrun character once, but the group never got to the point of playing. There is, though, my affection for the game nethack. So I get a lot of these takes on those ubiquitous motivational posters.

My favorites here

And of course,

Technorati tags: RPG, role playing games, motivational posters, parody

Ohio Man Living Ace of Spades Lifestyle

2006-07-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

An Ohio man was living out the Ace of Spades Lifestyle™, but got caught. Last night the gentleman entered a grocery store and "allegedly put two cans of beer down his pants". The kicker though is that "he allegedly exposed himself to employees". Keep on keeping on!

Technorati tags: Ace of Spades Lifestyle, Dumb Criminal

America Supports Israel

2006-07-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Ron at Dean's World has a good post on the support America shows for Israel in response to an outpouring at a Sean Hannity freedom concert. This quote, "They (on the right) know what Israel means and how the hatred for it is the same hatred that the wicked, the jealous, the barbarous have for America.", sums up my support for Israel. Below is an excerpt, but read the whole thing.

There has never been a country, in the long exile of the Jews, that has been more kind to the Jews than the United States of America. Where would Israel be without America? More important: Whither the Jewish people who live there? How many times has America stood by Israel?

This is not because of a Jewish lobby. There was no lobby at Six Flags. Conservatives and especially evangelical Christians have sincerely taken on the cause of Israel as their own. (Interestingly, the non-Jewish libertarianesque types in the Blogosphere I know best, Dean and Glenn Reynolds, are also strongly pro-Israel; I don't think libertarianism, as such, is necessarily inclined one way or the other.) We're talking about Sean Hannity... Oliver North... David Limbaugh. Not the matzah ball crowd. Not on the AIPAC Chanukah list.

Technorati tags: Israel, support