Skinner Sphere

Jim Treacher remixes N.W.A.'s F*** Tha Police lyrics for the Oval Office.

Be sure to check out his inherently racist picture in his previous post.
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Now playing: N.W.A - Fuck tha Police
via FoxyTunes

Labels: humor, Obama, politics

Great comment by Herr Morgenholz over at Ace's site.

What is it about military spending that makes it always a good idea?
Posted by: seattle slough at July 23, 2009 06:46 PM (H5l9d)

Because it's one of the few places that the Constitution (the real one, not the imaginary one you fucking shit heads have created with "emanations from a penumbra") says the gubmint can spend money.

Labels: Constitution, politics

Princess Diana was known as the "People's Princess". Burgess Meredith died a few weeks after she did and the Don and Mike show emulated the incessant coverage of Princess Di and referred to him as the People's Penguin. Now that Michael Jackson has died, should we refer to him as the People's Pervert?

Labels: celebrity, Michael Jackson

During the election season I saw a lot of Obamanos bumper stickers. I'm still seeing them and my one year of high school Spanish class reminds me that this is a first person plural conjugate of a verb. I've decided that the verb obamar means "to be fucked". Using a Spanish verb conjugations site, I learn the different conjugations.

Present Indicative:
yo obamo - I'm fucked
tú obamas - You're fucked
él/usted obama - He's fucked
nosotros obamamos - We're fucked
vosotros obamáis - You're (a group) fucked
ellos/ustedes obaman - They're fucked

With the way the last four months have gone, the Obamanos bumper stickers are appropriate. We're fucked!

Labels: Obama, politics

Bogofilter does a good job of catching spam for me and I can't remember the last time spam found a way to my inbox. Yesterday I was looking through the spam folder for grins and noticed a new and interesting subject line, "US Senator dies in brothel". A nice change from the medical and pron subject lines. That one might get me to click on it, if it wasn't in my spam folder.

Labels: e-mail, Internet, spam

Winning an argument on the Internet is like being Barack Obama; you may have won, but you're still a retard.

Labels: humor, politics

Joe Biden recently gave a commencement speech to Wake Forest. His stupidity has been noted by many others. I wanted to give exposure to Monty, a commenter at Ace's site. He gave his commencement speech in the comments. I copy here.

Monty's Commencement Speech

To the Graduating Class of 2009:

Listen up, you pack of whiny, overpampered and underqualified assholes. I'm only going to say this once: you don't matter. The universe won't grind to a halt if I cut your throat right this second, which I'd be happy to do if I thought I could get away with it. You're worth more dead than alive to me: dead means that I'd at least have had the pleasure of killing you, while alive means I have to continue to look at your stupid sheep's faces and listen to your nonsensical bleating.

But in order to collect my fee from the gormless knobs who run this so-called institution of higher learning I must at least make an attempt at imparting some wisdom, so here goes.

The first thing you should realize is that at least half of you are destined for failure. Probably more than half. By which I mean that whatever dreams you harbor right now are doomed to go unfulfilled.

All you cheerleaders, with your perky tits and good hair and perfect skin? You are going to get fat and your boobs are going to droop and your husbands will start fantasizing about girls half your age. You'll either get divorced on the mistaken assumption that it's your husband and not yourself who's the defective cog, or you'll stay anchored in a loveless sham of a marriage. Either way, you'll end up as a bitter, twisted old hag.

All you muscular jocks, looking forward to a pro career in some sport or other? You are doomed to a life of irrelevance. Your knee or back will give out, or you will simply find out that your vaunted talents in this little arena don't mean shit ou there in the big wide world where there are literally millions of athletes who are better than you. You will get a job that you hate, marry one of those destined-to-be-fat cheerleaders, and will die of a stress-related heart-attack at fifty or so. And that's if you don't blow your own head off first. And you know what? It'll be no great loss. America didn't really need another "glory days" high school washout to add to our already-overstuffed demographic.

Nerds? Your IQ doesn't mean dogshit in this brave new world. There are hordes of Indian and Chinese nerds who can do exactly what you can do, but will do it for less money, and for longer periods, than you can. Your lack of social skills unfit you for non-technical fields, so that really leaves eternal cubicle-slave drudgery for the rest of your miserable days. You will retire from a job that you hate but were too afraid to quit into a retirement that is as sere and barren as the desert. You will die as you have lived: anonymous, useless, boring even to yourself.

Prospective lawyers? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you with a hoe-handle. With a rusty saw-blade. With a mile-long length of razor-wire. If there is any justice on this earth you will be sent to prison where you will be shanked in the shower, and die as other convicts point and laugh. You are most of the reason the modern world sucks complete ass. I'd like to punch each and every one of you in the throat.

It's just barely possible that there are two or three of you out there in whom the spirit of true creativity and risk-taking has not been trampled. To you I say: get the fuck out of this place right now. Do not waste one more second of your time amongst the rest of these doomed sheep. Every moment you lose here is a moment you could be spending making something of your life. Most of the faces you see here are the faces of doomed people, people who were dead before they ever lived. Don't be like them, or the dead souls who taught them. Be smart, be fast, and be ruthless when you have to.

That's all I have to say. I have nothing but black stuff in my heart for you worthless motherfuckers, and I count it as an unfortunate circumstance that you weren't all murdered in your sleep. From the bottom of my heart: I hate your fucking miserable guts, all of you.

Labels: humor, politics

Definite thread winner at DrewM's post about Bush killing saving 1.1 million Africans with his AIDS initiative.

Who cares? George Bush is a WAR CRIMINAL! He probably just saved those Africans so he could exploit them later or drop a nuclear bomb on them for fun - or have Dick Cheney's goon doctors do fucking experiments on them with LSD and Chlamydia and take pictures of them to put into medical books published by Haliburton!

If there was even an ounce of goodwill in anything that devil Bush did - it was probably coerced by the fact that these Africans are the ones who KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT 9-11. That the "so-called" terrorists were actually suicide CIA agents who trained in secret in Africa for the 9-11 attacks. So if that Fascist Bush did anything to help those Africans - it was certainly to convince them to "shut up" about the truth of 9-11!

Bush was a motherfuckin SLAVE OWNER in another life. No strike that - he was SLAVE MERCHANT who used to use twinkies to entice and then CAPTURE starving African's. Then he transported them to the U.S.A. in his bloody slave ship and used the women slaves as his "belly warmers" on cold nights before he sold them in a Haliburton owned slave auction is some fucking southern state where everyone had guns and pickup trucks and fucking Nascar and shopped at that Cheney-Sponsored sweatshop known as Walmart!

God Damn it people! When are we going to try and put this fucker away for life?

Labels: Ace of Spades, fun, politics